Everyone

Times New Roman is the best font ever, motherfuckers.

I'm sorry, that was way too hostile. I don't know you--what justification could I possibly have for calling you motherfuckers? Even if you prefer another font? So what if you like Arial? That does not make you a bad person. Arial is fine.

My Solemn Promise

In this, my first post, I promise that, in subsequent posts, I will use the word "douchebag" more than anyone else on the Internet. The "douchebags" shall be at least as plentiful as the commas in the preceding sentence.
I must admit, I have not checked out the competition, possibly because I am too afraid to Google the word "douchebag." (If you were in fact directed to this blog after doing just that, my hat goes off to you, sir or madam.)
Yet I believe I can rise to the challenge.

Ahem... George W. Bush is a douchebag.

Thank you.